Mind the Kids
Lloyd Den Boer
Students have differing interests. Should you ask a group of Grade 10 students which of their courses means the most to them, you would expect a range of answers. Imagine my surprise, then, when every student in the classroom I was interviewing chose the same course. Not that these students had lots of deadening courses with one enlivening exception. They attended a small high school where the usual subject areas were delivered through innovative teaching and learning activities, like integrated subject areas, project-based learning, and literary book clubs. Yet when I, as a researcher fulfilling a graduate school assignment, asked them for their favourite course, they answered with one enthusiastic voice, “Our service-learning project.”
What was this service-learning project that generated so much loyalty? One day a week, the Grade 10 students were bused to a seniors’ living facility where they each spent time with “their own senior.” They played games, shared snacks, and, importantly, talked about their lives. During each visit, the seniors had opportunities to develop relationships with the students and to share insights from their experiences.
I was surprised that spending time with people so much older than themselves could appeal to this age group, but a bigger surprise was yet to come. When I asked these students why they liked their service-learning course, I expected to hear answers like “being free from the classroom,” “forming significant relationships over time,” and “feeling useful.” Indeed, they may have appreciated getting away from school, becoming friends with a senior, and playing a useful role, yet the best thing about spending time with seniors, they insisted, was how much they learned.
What do you think? Should I have been surprised that Grade 10 students liked spending time with seniors because they learned so much from them? We assume that young people are oriented toward the influence of people their own age — which they are. We also assume that, as far as the adults in their lives go, young people are most closely linked to their parents, guardians, teachers, and coaches. But, what if young people, by their nature, are equally, and perhaps uniquely, open to the influence of seniors, and particularly open to learning from them?
When it comes to the influence of elders in the lives of younger generations, parallels exist. For example, elephants have grandmothers. The matriarch of an elephant herd, who may be up to sixty years old, guides the herd toward sources of food and water, helps the herd identify and defend itself against threats, and leads the socialization of the young elephants. Grandmother elephants draw from a store of practical wisdom developed over decades about how to live long and well together. Researchers say that good grandmothers position their herds to thrive.
Many of us have young people in our lives — perhaps grandchildren, children of relatives, or neighbours’ children. To whatever extent they may be open to learning from us, are we showing them how to live long and well together? In other words, are we taking opportunities to develop relationships with young people, and are our messages wise? Wise messages point toward love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are the kinds of attributes that support living long and well together.
Is there a benefit to sharing wisdom with the young people in our lives? The young people I interviewed felt that the time spent learning from a senior was one of the highlights of their week. Do you know who else felt that way? The seniors who spent time with them.
Lloyd Den Boer is a retired educator living in Edmonton. He and his wife Audrey have eight wonderful grandchildren. Lloyd says, “Sharing in their lives is one of the great joys in ours.”