Aging with Pride

At a stage in life where it might feel “too late” to live as their authentic selves, Rainbow Elders Calgary provides understanding and lasting friendships for 2SLGBTQ+ seniors.

Although society has made strides towards becoming inclusive and accepting, 2SLGBTQ+ seniors — those who identify as Two-Spirit, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or use other terms related to sexual or gender diversity — remember a much different time. Some might have spent most of their lives keeping their sexual orientation or gender identity hidden, fearing discrimination, loneliness, and even for their safety. Since many 2SLGBTQ+ seniors still feel judged by their peers, it can be a challenge to form strong social connections in retirement.

The Government of Canada reports some factors that can help protect 2SLGTBQ+ seniors from social isolation: being part of a community, being part of an activist group, and having a social support network of chosen family or friends. But where can 2SLGBTQ+ seniors turn to find all the above?

Enter groups like Rainbow Elders Calgary. Since 2018, this volunteer-led non-profit organization has made a difference in the lives of these seniors through facilitating events and education, and by connecting with youth. The Rainbow Elders social calendar stays full: “Coffee, Cookies and Chat” on the first Wednesday of every month, and regular meals, dances, picnics, films, and concerts. All events are free or subsidized for members and create more opportunities for 2SLGBTQ+ seniors to form friendships and improve the community they live in — with the safety, comfort, and freedom to fully be themselves.

For Glynis Roberts, a retired teacher who identifies as a queer woman, joining Rainbow Elders has not only provided a space of acceptance, but it has also filled a void left after retiring. For years, being a teacher and mother were her primary focuses. Now, Glynis fully embraces who she is, while making new connections.

“I was worried about losing friends. I don’t know if I lost them as much as I isolated myself,” said Glynis about her coming out journey. “I was my own worst enemy. But as I gained confidence throughout the years, I wasn’t worried anymore. It was my own self-growth I had to go through.”

Part of this confidence is attributed to Rainbow Elders and having support from folks of all backgrounds who have walked similar paths in life. “That’s what I love about the group,” Glynis said. “It’s inclusive, and within the group there’s a larger umbrella of people who have been marginalized in the past. I think it’s lovely to include everyone, from someone who’s just coming out when they’re 65, to people who have been out their entire lives.”

Venessa Robinson, a transgender woman and another proud member of Rainbow Elders, decided to wait until after retirement to transition. Although she had always known who she was, Venessa says there were not the same resources available for transgender people — or the same level of acceptance.

“I came out when the time was right for me, but I wish it had been right for me sooner,” said Venessa. “Until you start being your true self, you don’t really understand how important it is. Once you do, going back just isn’t an option.”

For any seniors who identify as part of the 2SLGBTQ+ community but are hesitant to reach out to a group like Rainbow Elders, Venessa encourages them to “give it a go!”

“Be as careful as you feel you need to be, but if you’re feeling too intimidated to show up to a group meeting, you can reach out to Rainbow Elders and ask to talk to somebody,” shared Venessa. “One of us will be happy to meet with you and come with you to a meeting to feel supported.”

One of the pillars of Rainbow Elders is advocacy. Many aging 2SLGBTQ+ people face discrimination in senior living and long-term care facilities. To help combat this issue, Rainbow Elders regularly hosts panel discussions to promote awareness and acceptance among the staff and residents. The impact of these thoughtful, open conversations furthers Rainbow Elders’ mission to make the world a more inclusive place than it was in their youth.

“I hope we can get to a place in this world where people are accepted for who they are, and don’t have to conform to somebody else’s standards,” said Venessa.

No matter where they are in their personal journeys, 2SLGBTQ+ seniors do not have to navigate it alone; a community awaits them with open arms and open hearts. “I’m starting to finally feel my place in retirement,” said Glynis. “And one area is with Rainbow Elders. That’s a good feeling.”

Until you start being your true self, you don’t really understand how important it is. Once you do, going back just isn’t an option.

—Venessa Robinson


Brooke MacCallum
Communications Coordinator, ARTA