Holidays to Connect
Ron Jeffery B.A., M.Ed. | Wellness Committee Chair
Regardless of what or how you celebrate during the holiday period, it can be a time of joy, togetherness, and sharing memories of holidays past. However, for many, it can signify a time of loss, being alone or disconnected from those we love, or being there but feeling inconsequential — an observer rather than a participant.
As we age, we create pictures of our lives in our minds that become our memories. These perhaps then become the stories that we share and the words that resonate with family, friends, former colleagues, and our neighbours. Or perhaps, the memories, stories, and pictures remain ‘on the shelf’ — unshared and untold.
Our lives always have ups and downs as we travel through the years — and no, we are unable to turn the clock back for a do-over — but through positivity, creativity, and support, we can help make the holiday season as rewarding and comfortable as possible. We have an important role to play in helping others, and as a result, helping ourselves.
Taken in our neighbourhood park in Calgary, December 2025
Some of the most important skills we can develop as we age are observation, reflection, and context. For instance, my wife and I have an old dining room table (real wood!) that one day, our kids will no doubt chuck in the dumpster. They might even mention that we might consider getting a new table and chairs, which no doubt would modernize our dining area.
However, that old dining room table and chair set once belong to my parents, purchased over 80 years ago. We celebrated my earliest birthdays, as well as virtually every family holiday at that table together. It is, of course, to me, more than just an old dining room table. As we raised our own family, that old table became part of their lives as well.
Flowers
Ron Jeffery, 1992
I dreamt I saw
flowers last night,
the brightest and
most awe-inspiring
life-giving colourful
flowers you ever saw.
I awoke this morning
and looked out at the snow.
Do you know the stories behind what makes a home a home? Have you ever asked about the stories when you visit family or others when you are in their homes?
Yes, as we age, the old bones creak a bit more; the mirror we gaze into appears to have a stranger looking back at us. Conversations with contemporaries may be more of the latest surgery, new medication, or those we knew and have lost instead of the bucket list trip we have yet to take, or the new clothes we are rocking. Didn’t we just retire? Younger folks may look at us and assume because of how we look, walk, or talk — we are “old.” My response might be yes, I am old, but aging is a gift! Never take it for granted.
Yet for all of us, we have lived a life of experiences, gained knowledge, developed friendships, and perhaps had children and grandchildren and great grandchildren whom we can share our lives with now before they are gone or we are gone. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, we can create a picture from a thousand words we share that become a legacy to those who follow us.
The holidays provide an opportunity to share and create meaning for those we hold dear, but also for those who may not be as fortunate. Many families are dispersed due to children who have moved away or perhaps have left families behind in another country. This can make the holidays particularly isolating.
Please look around for those who may need to hear something as simple as: “I see you. I hear you. I care about you.” Just feeling seen is a major step to helping give meaning to the holidays, regardless of circumstances. You can perhaps make that old dining room table come to life again and create a new picture of memoires for both you and others.
Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year!
Your ARTA Wellness Committee
Ron Jeffery B.A., M.Ed.
Wellness Committee Chair